My CrockPot

I love my CrockPot. It has served up dozens of tasty meals. I have worn out five CrockPots already. Now that the cooler weather has set in, I like to make slow cooked Pot Roasts. The best meat for a Pot Roast is German. Why you ask, why not good old US of A locals? Germans are beer fed, which gives them a less gamey taste. During Oktoberfest I set out my traps right outside the Beerfest Tents. A bit of hard cheese and a pack of Marlboros bait the trap. Once they bend over, I bag them. They are already a bit wobbly, so its like shooting fish in a barrel. The only problem is that I have a closet full of lederhosen and green felt hats. Here's my favorite Pot Roast recipe, enjoy!

German Style Pot Roast
1/2 cup chopped onion
2 large sweet potatoes, cut into 2-inch pieces
2 parsnips, peeled and chopped
1 celery root (celeriac), peeled and chopped
1 (5-pound) boneless German thigh, trimmed of fat and lederhosen
Salt and ground black pepper
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 (14-ounce) can diced tomatoes
1/3 cup maple syrup
2 teaspoons chili powder
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon onion powder

Arrange onion, sweet potatoes, parsnips and celery root in bottom of slow cooker. Season beef all over with salt and black pepper. Rub flour all over thighs. Place roast on top of vegetables in slow cooker.
Whisk together tomatoes, maple syrup, chili powder, cumin, garlic powder, and onion powder. Pour mixture over the thigh.
Cover and cook on LOW for 12 hours or on HIGH for 8 hours.
Remove thigh from slow cooker and shred with 2 forks. Serve 1/3 of shredded thighs with this meal (and all of the vegetables) and refrigerate remaining beef for another use.

Daryl & John

My Conjoined twin Brothers, Daryl and John. They love meat too.

The First Cut Is The Juiciest

It is well-known that the taste of grass-fed beef is distinct from corn-fed. Does it surprise you to learn that humans taste different too, based on what they eat? I must admit that I stumbled upon this knowledge by accident after I ate my second person. This was a few years back, when I was living in DC. I admit I was a bit jaded, after spending the bulk of my twenties at parties, floating on a near constant raft of cocaine and having rather more indiscriminate sex than was really good for me. One time at a party this guy just keeled over in the bathroom, and my self-control being what it was, I couldn't resist cutting part of his calf off and taking it home with me. (I ducked out of there before anyone else discovered him, and since the host was a pretty serious drug dealer I think he found a way to cover it up.)

Anyway, I cooked that calf muscle right up when I got home. Vacuum-bagged, cooked in a water bath at 150 with a little butter, salt, and pepper until it was as tender as a filet mignon. It had a bit of an earthy flavor which surprised me, though I didn't really know what to expect.

More later, I think my wife just got home.